The Existence of a Lonely Soul
by fanofmusic9292
Summary: A broken family, and a broken heart. Matthew Williams deals with both, all while faking a smile, which hurts the most. His mere existence is a joke to his abusive mother and he is starting to believe the lies constantly fed to him. Slowly, slowly, his mind is breaking too... Is there no hope for this lost and lonely soul?
1. Prologue

It was around 5 o clock in the morning when the shrill cry of a baby was finally heard after several months of waiting; It's figure small and weak as it was placed into its mother's arms on July the First. Her pale, almost sickly, face remained level and plain as the father looked delighted to see a son born to his name. They were expecting the other twin to come soon after, the woman bracing herself for more pain, but nothing came for hours. They continued waiting in the white-walled room until a female doctor announced the second wouldn't be born for several more days, much to the wife's dismay.

The minutes passed one by one and much too slowly, both of the spouses waiting for something miraculous to happen. It did on the night of July the Fourth. Another boy was born, this one much bigger and stronger and smiling as his father stared into his bright blue eyes that sparkled brilliantly like the sun in the sky. The worn out mother even managed a small grin as her lips curled upwards, looking towards their newest born.

Unfortunately, the firstborn was predicted to pass away after three months, the father looking regretful and heartbroken while the mother didn't seem to care. In fact she voiced her opinion rather loudly... All while the little boy was crying and squirming in her arms.

* * *

Both were at the age of four now, smaller firstborn Matthew clinging onto his mother's arm as she tried to yank away, and second oldest Alfred playing in the lovely grass in the small yard. The woman pushed out of Matthew's grasp, going to crouch next to the cheerful Alfred as the other was left alone in the doorway, calling for his mother with tears blossoming in his eyes. But she would not come to his side for much needed comfort; No, instead she spat at him, telling him to be quiet and not to talk out of turn... The husband, disgusted as he heard the horrible sentence, began to reprimand her for her behavior, but she didn't care. All she cared about was her precious precious Alfred.

As expected, the marriage failed, and as they were discussing who would take custody of the children, Alfred clung to his father's coat with a look of longing in his eyes. He wouldn't take no for an answer. So, he was off to America with his loving father, Mr. Jones, while the wrinkled woman, now back to her maiden name of Mrs. Williams, promised to make Matthew's life a living hell. It was his fault that the marriage had failed, she constantly told him, making sure it stuck with every year he grew older. And thus begins the tale of the lost and lonely soul of Matthew Williams.


	2. Chapter 1

_I hate it here._

_I hate **her.**_

_The only one I don't hate isn't home anymore._

_This isn't "home" to me anyway._

_It's just a house._

_I'm tired of it all._

_Just because she does nice things doesn't take away all of the bad._

_It still stabs me._

_And even if it heals, it will always leave a scar._

_I will always remember._

_Will it ever stop?_

_She says she's sorry, but is she sincere?_

_I can tell she is not._

_She lives in denial._

_Denial of my condition, my feelings, my doubts…_

_It's like she's perfect._

_And I have to be too._

_But I'm not._

_I never will be._

_I'm a mess, and I know that._

_Why can't she accept that?_

_Why can't she accept me?_

_What am I to her anyway?_

_A burden? A mistake?_

_I think I am._

_No, I **know** I am._

_My whole existence was an accident._

_Everyone knows it too._

_Just who am I?_

_I'm lost._

_I'm breaking again._

_I don't know how to fix it._

_I feel hopeless._

_Troubled._

_Depressed._

_Lie after lie I tell myself, but I can't stop._

_I don't want to believe it, but I do._

_I'm so confused._

_So, so confused._

_I feel abandoned._

_I feel lonely._

_But I want to be alone._

_I want to be away from everyone._

_Away from them._

_The confusion never stops._

_I'm done._

_But I want to press on._

_I give up, but I'm trying not to._

_Mostly because of my brother._

_I love him too much to let him go._

_He's the only one who can bring a smile on my face._

_If I gave up now, where would all my joy go?_

_But honestly, how much longer can I go on? _

_I don't know._

_I'm so confused._

_I'm practically dead, like a ghost._

_I just exist without a purpose, walking right by those who step all over me._

_Where do I go? What should I do next?_

* * *

With tears blossoming in his dull violet eyes, the boy shut his small notebook gingerly and tucked it away in the very back of his drawer; hidden away from the world. No one could know about his thoughts. Nor did he want anyone to know. All he wanted was to be _happy, _but that was a feeling he had never known.

It was difficult to do so, but slowly he rose from his bed, stretching his aching limbs from his restless sleep. Next, he slipped on his glasses and a large hooded sweatshirt, all while wondering how he was going to make his appearance downstairs. Step by careful step he walked through the hallway, hearing the floorboards creak below him, and soon he was halfway down the stairs. His mother could hear him, and his stomach began to stir with uneasiness. "M-Morning." He blurted out stupidly, racing down the last few steps and darting into the kitchen, trying to find something to occupy himself with. Breakfast, he decided, would be a nice choice. "I'll make pancakes," He muttered in her direction, trying not to make eye contact, "Do you want any?"

"No."

And that was the end of that. Matthew sighed as he stood at the counter fixing his breakfast that he would eat alone. As usual. It was nothing new, and he was used to it all. He didn't mind though. Why would he want to be around the person who hated him most?

"Is the paper here?"

"It's Sunday."

"O-Oh, right..." He paused, looking into the cabinets for a few measuring cups, "Did you want me to fix the roof today? It looks like-"

"You'll fail."

"..W..What? But Moth-"

"You'll _fail. _You hear me? And don't try to tell me otherwise."

"Y-Yes Mother.."

Matthew took a moment to calm his thoughts as he made his meal, pouring the pancake batter onto a hot skillet and watching them rise as he clutched the counter with one of his pale hands. "You know, maybe she's right." He whispered to himself, taking a spatula and flipping the cakes when needed, "I do fail a lot, so what makes me think today would be different?"

_"Alfred can do anything. You can't. You're just wasted space." _

The words came back to him, just filling his thoughts with lies, but he had to believe them. There was nothing else to believe. It was true that his brother was better than he was at everything, except schoolwork. But apparently that didn't matter. No, as long as he had looks, talent, potential... Than he was basically living the dream.

Matthew, on the other hand, was living a nightmare.

The smell of burning pancakes woke him out of his daze as he quickly flipped his breakfast onto a plate, being careful not to burn himself as he moved them around with his bare hand. Next came maple syrup of course, and finally he sat down at the table and quietly ate his meal alone, looking around his house to pass the time.

It wasn't well kept, to say the least. The paint was starting to peel, there were cracks visible on the floors, and it was no help that Matthew wasn't allowed to fix simple things around the house... But somehow it still stayed standing.

The blonde boy stood from his spot and went to clean his dishes to avoid being yelled at, and then decided to make a run to his room once more. That seemed to be the only place he felt somewhat safe. The door was shut behind him, and he could breathe a bit easier. Especially when he opened the screened window in his small room. He carefully sat on his mattress, laying back with his hands behind his head, and for once everything seemed so peaceful. That is, until his small mobile phone rang on the dresser next to his bedside. Wearily, he looked at it.

It was his brother, Alfred. He answered it, holding the speaker slightly away from his ear.

"Hey Mattie! It's me!"

"Hey Al. Is something up?"

"Dude, you won't believe it!"

Matthew sat up, bringing his knees to his chest and asked the dreaded question, "What?"

"We're coming to visit!"

Violet eyes widened, and Matthew audibly let out a small gasp. "Y-you're _what_?"

* * *

**Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed. **

**Please review if you have the time.**

**-Feli**

**(Fun fact... Matthew'sjournalentryisfrommyowndiary...) **


	3. Chapter 2

_"We're coming to visit!"_

Matthew sat shocked on his lumpy bed as he heard the words reverberate in his head, still straining to listen to the American on the other line.

"Yeah man! We're coming up to see you!"

"N-No, why?"

"Why?" His brother laughed softly, obviously amused by the "stupid" question, "Cause we miss you! Well, I do anyway. And..." Alfred paused, whispering into the receiver, "It's a secret but.. Dad is gonna try to convince mom to let you move down here."

Matthew should've been happy. He should have physically cheered at the news but.. He had an overwhelming feeling of sickness fill his stomach as he collapsed back onto his pillow, covering his face with his arm. He didn't speak, he didn't make one sound, and Alfred noticed. "Dude... What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?!" Matthew hissed, anger growing second by second, "She won't let me! I know she won't!"

"But-"

"Al! You realize that she'll kick you guys out?"

Alfred started laughing louder, only making Matthew want to punch something. Didn't he understand? _No. _He thought, _No one does and no one will. If he comes, she'll treat him like a prince. And I'll be kicked around. _

"Please don't come." That stopped his brother's laughter. For almost too long, in Matthew's opinion.

"Did I hear you right Mattie?"

"Y-yes. You did." The Canadian spoke up, swallowing back the saliva building in his mouth as his nerves increased. Was Alfred going to yell at him? Tell him to get out of his life...? Matthew braced himself for the worst.

"..But why Matthew? I really miss you."

He was honestly shocked at the response. Alfred Jones - the superstar, the chick magnet, the talented athlete - missed the useless and pathetic Matthew Williams. "You do?"

"Duh. You're my brother, and I haven't seen you in what, five years? It's been too long man.."

"I know.. I just," He let out a long sigh, which was definitely needed, "It's been tough."

"And that's why I want to see you! Have fun like back then!"

_I don't remember having "fun", Alfred.._ But with his brother's whining pleas, he couldn't refuse. He knew Alfred wouldn't take no for an answer anyhow.

"Alright. Just have Dad call Mom..."

* * *

As soon as he hung up, he regretted the whole conversation. Dad coming meant Alfred as well. Alfred coming meant his mother spoiling him and begging to take him in. And what did that mean? Telling Matthew to get out of the house and die. It happened five years ago when they came to visit. His father was trying to get back together, but his mother refused and kicked them back out. But not before pleading for Alfred to stay and switch with Matthew.

It was an awful experience to say the least.

Many nights of crying, of wishing he could be somewhere else... Wishing he never existed in the first place...

"Why do I give in so easily?" He asked himself, hearing the phone ring downstairs, and he pushed his head far underneath the covers. Pretty soon his mother would put up her innocent front, giving Alfred an earful about how much she loves him.

"Oh, Alfred! Finally decided to move in with me?"

There was a pause, and she started up again, "You're coming here...?"

_Oh no, here we go.._

"Hold on a second Alfred dear...Matthew!"

The blonde jumped, scrambling to get out of bed and sprinted downstairs, practically falling. He skid into the kitchen, nerves building as she stared him down cold. His mother put the phone on mute, and slammed it on the table harshly. He thought it might have broken.

"So, Alfred is coming to visit, huh? Did _you_ invite him?"

"I-I swear I didn't!"

"Save your petty excuses!" She screamed at him, coming closer to his reddening face. "You just want to mock me, don't you, you useless piece of _trash_!"

"M-Mom..!"

"Shut up! I don't want to hear it! Back upstairs, and never come out! I don't want to see your stupid face!"

The emotions inside boiled over and Matthew held his breath, turning sharply on his heels to hide the tears falling from his face, and slammed the door to his bedroom, letting them fall freely. It was all too much. The blame, the hate.. He couldn't take it anymore. He loved his brother immensely, but with him coming, it only made the situation worse. When he left, there would be hell to pay.

Matthew was lost and anxious, just waiting and wanting to die right then and there.


	4. Chapter 3

Matthew was dreading the moment his brother would walk through that door as he stood perched on the stairs, looking out the small windows on either side of the front door and praying that each car passing wasn't theirs. _Might as well enjoy the last few moments of peace, _he told himself, _because when he gets here... _

The sudden sound of a car door slamming nearby made the Canadian jolt, and rushing towards the front, he opened the door quickly, although he didn't really know why he reacted so rushed. Force of habit, he supposed. The face in front of his own was lit up, beaming a bright smile towards him, and suddenly he was tackled into a bone-crushing hug; Matthew staggering backwards back into the house.

"Mattie!" His brother screamed into his ear, only tightening his hold around his waist as Matthew stood helpless, awkwardly patting Alfred's back.

"H-Hey Al... Good to see you." He said quietly, hearing footsteps behind him, and he tensed. His mother was here, and boy was she showing her happiness about her other son's presence.

"Alfred, darling, glad to have you~" His mother cooed gently, causing Alfred to look up with his grin slightly faltering. "Hey mom!"

"Now, you are planning on staying this time, right...?"

"Er, haha... You'll have to take that up with Dad I guess.." And the subject was quickly avoided as Alfred tugged on Matthew's hand, leading him upstairs to their shared bedroom for the weekend. Looking back, he saw his mother shoot him a cold glare of pure hatred as if saying "How _dare_ you take my Alfred away".

The two shut the door to the bedroom, and instantly Alfred set down his bags, looking at his older brother with unusual seriousness on his face. "So?"

"..So what?"

"How are you? How are things?"

"T-Things are fine-"

"Don't lie to me."

Matthew froze, scrunching his eyebrows together at the American's serious demeanor. "What do you mean?"

"Dude, come on, don't play games with me! You know exactly what I mean. I felt you tense up when she came around the corner.. How are you?"

Matthew fumbled with his hands as his brother spoke, looking away towards the window where the sun was shining brilliantly. He couldn't tell him the truth. That would make him feel worse. "I promise, everything is fine."

Although Alfred seemed skeptical, he knew better than to push the subject, and began to unpack his bags and stuff things sloppily in the drawers Matthew didn't use. Other than drawers and cabinets occasionally opening and closing, the room was silent. The Canadian lay on his bed, reading a novel, wishing to just disappear at the moment. Oh how he dreaded going downstairs.. Especially when he heard arguing coming from below. Their parents, of course, were fighting.

"Why won't you just give him back to me!"

"Because he doesn't want to be with you! Neither does Matthew!"

"Well I have custody over the brat!"

"Don't you _dare _call our son a brat!"

"He is! He's just _useless trash!_"

"I can't stand this anymore. We're taking him back."

"What?! You came here just for that?! How dare you mock me!"

Matthew sat up in his bed, rushing to the door and listening with his ear pressed against the wood as Alfred did the same,

"You heard me."

"..You can't do that. I can file a restraining order against you if I must. He doesn't deserve happiness."

"He deserves it more than you!"

And that's when the chaos began. It was like an explosion set off in the house, which just happened to be their wicked mother.

"_Get out! Both of you!" _She screeched at the top of her lungs, sending a shiver down Matthew's spine and Alfred rested a hand on his trembling shoulder.

"He's my son too!"

"I don't care! Out! _Forever!_"

Alfred and Matthew looked at each other worried. What was going to happen? They both wondered as the arguing continued downstairs for several agonizing minutes. It was like living a horror film.. As soon as they both thought things had died down and perhaps everything would be okay, Alfred continued unpacking his things when stomping began to come up the wooden steps. The brothers exchanged glances of confusion... And suddenly his mother burst into the room, red-faced and angry beyond belief. "I'm sorry Alfred dear, but I'm afraid you have to leave... Unless, of course, you'd like to stay here with me? And get rid of _that?" _She emphasized, pointing to Matthew who was now backed up against the wall as a way to feel protected.

As much as he wanted to comply to keep Matthew company for just a few minutes longer, Alfred shook his head, re-packing a little too quickly as he avoiding all eye-contact with his mother - as did Matthew. But he could feel her eyes boring into his soul. She promptly came up to him, yanking him by the wrist and dragging him downstairs, Alfred close behind, and the fearful Canadian was face to face with his father.

"Would you care to explain to me why you defend this?"

His father sighed, looking him in his widened, tearful, violet eyes and then back towards her soulless grey ones. "Because he deserves a better life than you ever should." He growled, reaching for Matthew's other wrist, but she quickly yanked him back towards her.

"..I'll make you eat those words." She whispered towards her ex-husband, and they were forced to leave despite Alfred and his father's pleas. Matthew was terrified, and now he was alone again. As the door shut, he was spun around to face his mother who raised her hand up in the air, and he knew what was coming next. "You made my life hell, and your's will be even worse." She hissed, bringing her palm back down to slap him right in the cheek; the sound of skin on skin echoing in the hall. As his face was jerked backwards by the force, his eyes met with Alfred's who was just outside the window - crying.

And this time, Matthew let the tears flow freely. The salty drops slid down his reddened, harshly stinging cheek as he looked at his younger sibling; a look of longing in his eyes. Alfred laid a palm on the window, desperately wanting to save his brother, but he knew he had no power. Matthew was trembling, watching his brother slowly move away, and slowly he mouthed:

"_Please help me." _


	5. Chapter 4

Widened blue eyes stared helpless through the dirty window as they suddenly connected with violet ones full of tears. Alfred watched in horror as the slap lingered in the air, and the mark along Matthew's cheek started to glow red.

"O-Oh my god.. Shit!" Like lightening the American sprinted after his father who was grumbling to himself and starting the car, and Alfred ran around to tug at his wrist, a look of pure horror sparkling in his eyes. "Dad, we can't let Matthew stay here! She's-"

"I know Al.. But I can't do anything about it. We've tried."

With one last silent look at the house Matthew was prisoner to, both of them got into the car and they started down the road; Alfred looking out the window solemnly as the scene of the slap replayed over and over in his buzzing head. _Why didn't he tell me?_ He asked himself, frowning even deeper when he thought of Matthew's eyes brimmed with tears. _He said everything was alright and yet..._ He stopped, heaving a heavy sigh to which his father looked over at him.

"I know Alfred. I want to get him out of there. But she has the power, not me, unfortunately.. There's literally nothing we can do but try to be with him as much as possible."

"But we can't even do that Dad! Every time I'm involved, she treats him even worse! We're fucked!"

"_Language.__" _

Alfred winced at the harsh tone and sunk into his leather seat, looking out the windshield, "..Sorry."

"No, you are right.." His father paused, stopping at a light. "We are fucked."

As the light turned green, Alfred watched the scenery of neighborhoods fly by, and quite suddenly his mind began to turn with different possibilities of Matthew getting out of that horrible environment. It went from the most absurd ways to get him to escape, to ways he knew wouldn't work... But then, he suddenly perked up, looking at his father brightly. "I have an idea dude."

* * *

The last thing Matthew wanted was to be anymore trouble, but even when he tried to stay away, he was doing something wrong. The first thing he had on his mind was escape as his cheek burned at the contact his mother had made with it. He knew letting Alfred come was a horrible idea, but he gave in again. He should have known better, he scolded himself, and he should have just said no.

Whenever Alfred was around, he was tossed like a stone and treated like some sort of slave... And she was the master.. Oh how he hated it all. Both her and himself for letting him be so _weak_ and _pathetic. _Those were the only words he could come up with for himself as he slumped back into his bedroom, being careful as he silently locked the door behind him. He just wanted her out for good. But he knew that was practically impossible.

With a sigh, he reached for his journal in his bed-side drawer, scribbling in it quickly as his fresh emotions boiled over in salty tears. He didn't know how much longer he could deal with the suffering.

The hatred from her and the hatred towards himself.

_Why, _why_, did I have to be born?_ He asked himself constantly, feeling the tears sting his violet eyes as he continued writing down his overwhelming feelings of hopelessness.

She hated him.

He hated himself.

He was alone.

He was afraid.

And he was hurting.

What else could go wrong?

"With my luck, everything."

* * *

**Sorry for the short chapter! I just want to set things up for next chapter~**

**Until next time!**

**-Feli**


	6. Chapter 5

Everyone surrounded him, and he was closed into a corner. His mother, father, and brother all towered over him with a look of disgust, and he could hardly make out the insults being thrown at him. Not that he wanted to. The only words he _could_ catch made him slink down further into the safety of his little corner. "Hate, die, mistake..." They all echoed in his head and every good thought was drowned out by the hatred and sorrow. He was tired of it all, and it physically and mentally exhausted his being. He was shaking, trembling, and starting to cry silently now as the words grew louder around him and his family drew closer. It was also unbearably hot... His breathing was uneven and sweat dripped down his face as he looked up into the cold, selfish face of his mother who scowled at him viciously.

His body suddenly jolted just as she opened her mouth to yell at him, and out of no where he was back in his room, panting in his bed. His whole body was wet from a cold sweat and he could have sworn he had hit a fever when he peeled back the covers. It wasn't usually this heated in his room, he thought to himself as he stood, but he decided it was from his vivid nightmare. A glass of water would help, he told himself, so he shuffled over towards the door. Pulling on the handle, he found it wouldn't budge. He tried it again, shaking the metal knob, but Matthew got the same result.

"She locked me in here...Again." He whispered to nobody, heaving a heavy, trembling sigh and giving up his thirst for water. Instead he crawled back towards his bed, sitting on the edge of it with an emotionless gaze out the dirtied window. Not only was he hot and parched.. But now there was no way he could get back to sleep in the extreme temperature in his room. Every way he moved brought about more heat and nothing he could find was cold enough to soothe him. Was his mother trying to slowly torture him...? "I wouldn't doubt it.." He murmured, leaning back onto the sweaty pillow, "Maybe this is her idea of fun."

Matthew closed his violet eyes, trying to force sleep to come, but it wouldn't help. His mind continued to race as he just lay there in the deepening darkness, and his thoughts would wander to dangerous places. Ideas of what it would be like if he truly didn't exist, what would happen if he tried to leave, and even-

_Bang!_

Matthew jumped in his spot as something hit his window, and instantly he ducked down as if it might hit him.

_Bang!_

It happened again, this time a little louder, and the Canadian cautiously approached the window to see what was happening. The glass now had a small crack in its surface, and he looked down to see who was possibly there. A pair of familiar blue eyes met his as his own widened in shock and surprise. "What on earth...?!"

"_Dude!_"

"Alfred?! What the hell are you doing here?" He whispered out the window, opening it up to hear his brother better, "I thought you left?"

"Hahaha! The hero never leaves when danger is around!"

"But still-"

"I convinced Dad to get a hotel here. We wanted to check up on you man."

Matthew blinked and stepped back slightly, taking in the words. Someone...Cared for him?

"So you.. You're staying here just for me?"

"Well, yeah. You're my brother, right?"

"Y-Yes."

"Thought so." Alfred paused, now frowning slightly, "Oh, and I'm mad at you."

Violet eyes scrunched up in confusion at the sudden change in mood, "What do you mean Al?"

"You lied to me man!"

"I did?"

"You said you were fine! I saw her slap you. You lied to me!"

Matthew heaved a sigh of relief and scratched the back of his head, slightly looking away. "I'm sorry. I just didn't want to worry you, I guess."

"...Well, whatever. Anyway, we have to get you out of here."

"How?"

Alfred laughed softly and pointed to the window, raising his eyebrows that were visible beneath the moonlight. Matthew still didn't understand as he simply stood there, staring obliviously down at his brother.

"The _window _dude. Crawl out!"

Matthew instantly shook his head, refusing to do such a ridiculous thing. "N-No, I can't do that. She locked me in my room and in the morn-"

"Woah, woah.. She locked you in your room?"

"Y-Yeah.."

"Does she do this a lot?!"

"Yes. But that's besides the point Al! I'm saying that she'll check up on me in the morning, and if she sees I'm not there, I'll pay for it!"

Alfred let the words sink in before trying to suggest something else, but soon enough his bright smile was plastered onto his face once more. "That's alright. I'll come back in the morning then." He stated, already beginning to walk away, but Matthew stopped him.

"How will that work?"

"Well, if she still has you locked up in there, she'll never even know you left! Just do something to make her angry and she'll keep you in there for the rest of the day."

Matthew took a moment to breathe and think the plan through before responding. It was a risk, that was for sure... But was he really willing to take it..?

"F-Fine." He finally answered, shocked at his own reply, but he didn't take it back. For once he was happy for his brother's rebellious nature. "Just come back in the morning, alright?"

"Awesome! See you then!" He called, a little bit too loudly, and then the American was off again; running down the road full speed. Matthew watched him run confidently in the middle of the street and even managed a soft laugh as a cool breeze swept through his room and relaxed him slightly. Sure, his brother was an idiot, but sometimes his ideas were perfect...

* * *

Matthew was getting a bit anxious by the time the sun was rising, and he sat stilly in his bed, waiting for the footsteps to come to his door. _Just say what you have planned, and everything will be fine. _He told himself repeatedly, trying to feel courageous as a door opened on the other end of the hall. _This is it... Stay calm. _He thought, listening to heavy footsteps stop right outside of his door. A key was inserted into his doorknob and with a distinct _click, _it was unlocked. Matthew started trembling. _I can't do this, I can't do this! _But as the door slowly opened and he faked a peaceful sleep, he found himself rolling over to stare at her dead on. Their eyes met, his widening unintentionally, and she put on the scariest of smiles.

"Well, it seems you're awake?" She asked gently, coming closer to Matthew who didn't respond. "Have you learned your lesson maybe?" _What lesson? I didn't do anything wrong! _

He gulped back the lump in his throat and stayed completely silent, earning a scoff in his direction as she reached towards him, yanking him up by the hair. "I asked you a question, asshole. Now answer me."

_A-Answer! _He inwardly scolded himself, but his body went rigid as she pulled harder on his hair; tears welling in the corners of his eyes. If he answered, their plan would completely fail. So, he slowly shook his head, knowing what was going to happen next. Her eyes went cold as they stared at each other for what seemed like hours, and just like that she threw his head into the headboard which thudded loudly in his small room. A small whimper escaped him as she loomed over him menacingly, her hand raising above her head and Matthew braced himself for what was about to come. Her hand balled into a fist and quickly it soared through the air, hitting Matthew square in the jaw which made a small cracking noise. A small stream of blood trickled from his lip as his jaw swelled up from the impact, and tears rolled down his cheeks as she swiftly turned on her heels. "Don't you ever defy me again. Understand?" But she didn't need an answer as she slammed the door shut, stomping downstairs in a fit of rage.

Matthew sat motionless for several moments as the scene replayed in his head, and he felt his lip, seeing crimson stain his shaking fingers. Going through his drawer, he rummaged around, trying to find a tissue or napkin to fix his face. The only thing he could find was a crumpled piece of paper, but it would have to do. Gently, he dabbed the blood away and threw it back into the drawer. The only thing left to do was get dressed. He pulled on his ripped jeans and a t-shirt that was a bit big for him, due to him losing weight frequently, and then he threw himself back onto the bed, wiping his teary eyes.

And now, all he had to do was wait.

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter. All of your reviews make me very happy, and I love the feedback I'm getting! Thank you to each and every one of you! **

**I love you all~ **

**I'm excited to see where this story is going, and I'm glad all of you are too! **

**Until next chapter my lovelies. **

**-Feli **


	7. Chapter 6

Matthew was beginning to give up hope as he sat practically lifeless on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. Had Alfred ditched him? Did he even remember they had a plan? The Canadian groaned and was starting to question whether or not Alfred was serious. He sat up, about to slam the window shut in anger until he heard the familiar American voice from below.

"Sorry I'm late!" He called up, and Matthew had to shush him. His mother would surely hear if they were too loud. Or, rather, if _Alfred _was too loud. Matthew shrugged his lean shoulders as his younger sibling noticed his face; his jaw dropping in obvious shock.

"Dude... Did..?" He didn't need to finish the question. After all, he already knew. Shaking his head, Alfred walked up to the dirtied brick which made up the sides of the house, leaning his head back to look at Matthew full on. "Alright, come down." He commanded gently with his signature smile, holding his arms out to catch him.

That's when the nerves began to grow and swell inside the quiet boy's chest. He knew this would happen eventually but... What if he didn't make it? What if Alfred didn't catch him? What if his mother came in and-

"Matthew? I'm waiting!"

He gulped and looked down, opening the window a bit further and swinging a leg out the side. _Just one more... _He told himself, looking away back into his room, wondering if he should refuse and just go back to bed. But something made him keep going. Holding his breath, Matthew shut his eyes and fell from the window, thinking that this was the end... But he landed safely in the strong arms of Alfred who had a look of success across his face. "See? Told ya dude." He said, putting him down and starting to walk away.

Matthew didn't move. For one, he was too anxious from the stunt he had just performed, but he also had no idea what to expect out in public. Especially with a throbbing black eye that made his vision burry. Alfred gently chuckled, noticing Matthew's nervous state and patted him on the shoulder. "Look," He started, gently touching the wound on the Canadian's eye, "If anyone gives you shit about this, I'll murder them. Got it?"

Matthew raised his eyebrow skeptically, "Really?"

"Duh. No one talks bad about my brother."

He was flattered; truly. It meant a lot for someone to actually care...

"Thanks Al.." He murmured, following him down the road as Alfred lead the way.

"Yup, no prob. To the mall!"

_The mall? Why there of all places?_

"You need new clothes man. She gives you nothing, does she?"

Alfred was almost too accurate. If she did give him something, it was usually from the trash or the street. But, as he checked his ripping pockets, he realized he had no money with him.

"Alf-"

"Don't worry bro, I got you covered."

And soon enough he was being dragged by the wrist into a department store full of people both young and old. All of which were staring at him with questioning looks or concern. Matthew was embarrassed by the attention he was getting, and almost ashamed, despite it not being his own fault. But after a little while of walking, he grew accustomed to the stares, and just ignored them as Alfred made him look at all sorts of clothes.

"See anything you like dude?"

Matthew honestly had no clue what he "liked" or "disliked". They were just clothes, in his opinion. Something to keep you covered... But looking around, he noticed that some patterns or colors caught his attention more than others, and he started to pull them off of their hangers to get a better look. "Wanna try something on?" His brother asked, and he nodded in response, turning around to look at a large shelf filled with shirts behind them. They all looked so appealing.. Especially a nice red one that looked soft...

The Canadian reached up to grab it, standing on his toes, but just as he did so, another hand came into his range of vision. He thought at first it was his brother trying to help him, but after further observation, he realized he was touching hands with a complete stranger. He pulled away quickly, color filling his cheeks. "I-I'm sorry..!" He squeaked, looking up into the other person's eyes who were surprisingly just as red as his face. Matthew froze, simply staring into their crimson depths. _Are they natural..? _He wondered, stepping backwards to give the man some room.

"Oh, it's alright!" The taller man proclaimed in a thick accent, chuckling beneath his breath and slumping his arms across his chest. "It was my fault. Go ahead."

Matthew shook his head in protest, now looking at the man's shiny, silver hair which glowed underneath the harsh lighting. "N-No, it's fine. You can have it sir."

"_Kesese~_" Matthew's eyes slightly widened at the interesting laugh, and a small smile barely showed up on his pale lips. It was contagious to say the least. "Nein, I don't think you understand. I work here so I want you to have it! I get money~" He added with a wink, leaning against the shelf with a proud smirk on his face. Matthew finally understood and was once again embarrassed by his stupid mistake.

"O-Oh I see... Sorry..."

"Why are you apologizing?"

"Sorry... Dang it."

The man laughed again, suddenly ruffling Matthew's soft blonde hair with a smile. "You're cute~" He said through snickers, and the Canadian's face heated up dramatically.

"T-That's a bold statement..!"

"It is? Sorry then. Sometimes the awesome me just talks without thinking." Matthew scrunched his eyes together in questioning, but decided not to challenge him. It would only cause more embarrassment on his end, he thought. "Anyway, if you need help, my name is Gilbert. Und..." The worker by the name of Gilbert came up closer to Matthew's face, "What happened here?"

"O-Oh that's..."

"Matthew? Did you find something?"

Alfred suddenly came around the corner with a couple of clothing items in his hands, seeing Gilbert dangerously close to Matthew's face. The American scowled and narrowed his eyes, coming up to him as his protective sighed began to overflow.

"What are you doing dude?"

"Helping a customer. Who are you?"

"His brother."

Gilbert nodded, pointing to Matthew's eye, "So did you do this? That's horrible!"

Matthew tried to protest, but Alfred cut him off before he could utter one noise. "What the hell?! I would never hurt him!"

"Then how did he get it?"

"Why should I tell you?"

"So it _was_ you?"

"I never-"

"_Alfred!_" Matthew spat, clenching his fists and turning towards his brother. "Quit being rude. And no, Gilbert, he didn't do this, alright?"

"...Promise?"

"Yes. I promise."

"Fine then." Gilbert sighed, shrugging his shoulders and looking calmly at Alfred who was staring him down, "I guess I'll go. If you need help, just find me. Have a nice day."

And the man was off, hands in his pockets, and a song leaving his lips.

* * *

***sighs* Sorry my lovelies for the delay... I hope you aren't angry /) n (\**

**I know that this chapter seems a little rushed... Because it is. I'm going to go in and edit though real soon to make it perfect. **

**That being said, thank you for following and favoriting! It means so much!**

***hugs you all***

**-Feli**


	8. Chapter 7

As Gilbert walked away, Alfred whipped around to stare Matthew dead in the face.

"Don't go near him."

"Alfred-"

"He's annoying."

"Alf-"

"And his stupid white hair is-"

"_Alfred!"_ Matthew's voice was slightly raised at the proclamation,_ "_Why are you getting so mad about a worker trying to help me?"

"He wasn't trying to help you dude. He was probably trying to feel you up or something."

"Oh my god.. You can't be serious?"

"I am serious Mattie. His creepy red eyes were screaming '_I bang innocent teenagers'. _"

Matthew's violet eyes widened; cheeks turning pink at the statement. There was no way Alfred could know that from just one meeting! Plus, he would only say something like that if... "Alfie, are you jealous?"

Alfred scoffed much too quickly, turning away from his older sibling and crossing his arms. "No. Why the hell would you say that?"

"Because," Matthew came closer to him, smiling weakly at the American's face, "Your face is bright red. You _are _jealous aren't you?"

"W-What would I be jealous of?"

"Gilbert. I mean, he was rather handsome."

"S-So?! I'm better looking than he is!"

"You're so jealous."

"I'm not! That dude is probably a dick!"

"Right.." Violet eyes rolled in protest, but he kept strolling around, looking at the shelves. "Let's just keep looking for clothes, eh?"

* * *

As they say, time flies fast when you're having fun. Before they knew it, the evening was upon them, and a pile of clothes lay in a shopping cart ready to be purchased. "Are you sure you can afford all of this?" Matthew asked his younger sibling, raising a thin eyebrow in question. Alfred nodded rapidly, smiling as he always did. "Of course! Anything for you man!"

The two walked up to the check-out section where the cashier was none other than the silver-haired man known as Gilbert. Alfred's smile almost immediately diminished into nothing. "Great." He mumbled to himself, and Matthew just subtly shook his head and politely smiled at the male who had helped him earlier. "Find everything alright?" He asked in a monotonous tone, and Matthew uttered a quiet "Yes" before Gilbert began to ring up the clothes. After a few minutes of packing the new clothes into plastic bags, Alfred pulled out a card from his pocket, swiping it in the machine in front of him.

"Where did you get that?"

"Dad."

"He gave it to you?"

"Well, define 'gave'.."

"Al.."

"Yeah yeah I stole it from his wallet. Just don't say anything."

Gilbert couldn't help but overhear the conversation and softly snickered, looking down to hide it. Matthew caught it and smiled a bit, and luckily Alfred didn't hear the noise. He was too busy trying to figure out how to sign his signature on the credit card machine. "Here you go." Gilbert said with a grin, handing Matthew all of the bags full of clothes.

"Thank you.."

"Sure thing."

Just as the two brothers were about to leave, a woman came up behind Gilbert and tapped him on the shoulder, quietly saying something into his ear and he stepped out of his position behind the cash register. Matthew tilted his head in questioning and Alfred was already beginning to leave as Gilbert came around the corner near the Canadian.

"Mind if I walk out with you? My shift is over."

Violet eyes blinked rapidly and he found himself nodding before his brain could process the question. Gilbert silently thanked him and they were on their way out of the store; Alfred turning around to hurry Matthew up, but finding something he didn't want to see.

"Mattie, why is he following us?"

"I'm just leaving. I have to walk home."

Alfred's eyes narrowed behind his rimmed glasses and he let out a huff of air - obviously aggravated.

Gilbert watched the American strut ahead of them, and he leaned in towards Matthew, "I take it he doesn't like me much?"

"I honestly don't know with him sometimes."

"_Kesesese~"_

* * *

**I know what you're thinking. "I waited a whole month for this piece of crap chapter?!"**

**Yeah, it's bad.. I know.. I'm just trying to get back in the swing of things.**

**I've been in the hospital for a while so... Yeah... Anyway, please don't hate me.**

**Or do. Whatever you want, really.**

**Thanks for reading anyway...**

**-Feli**


	9. Chapter 8

The three of them started to walk out of the mall; Alfred making sure he was in between the Canadian and Gilbert. He wasn't very happy that this stranger was with them, and he was walking the same way they were.

"When are you leaving dude?"

"We're only in the parking lot?"

"Alfred, just calm down. I don't get why you're so mad."

Alfred stopped, turning towards his older brother, "I'm mad because you don't even know him."

"Al, he's just walking home. I know I don't know him, but you're here too. Plus he's the one who helped me at the store."

Alfred opened his mouth as if to say something, but quickly closed it again, "Fine."

The walk was quiet after that. No one said a word and the only sound heard was their footsteps against the pavement. Matthew was looking around aimlessly, occasionally glancing over at Gilbert who had his hands tucked into his pockets. The sun was starting to set now, and they were turning into their neighborhood; Gilbert stopping and Matthew looked back at him. "So this is where I leave."

"Good." Alfred hissed so that only he could hear, and Matthew nodded a little sadly.

"Oh, alright. Nice to meet you."

"Yeah.." The albino paused, shuffling his feet, "See you around I guess."

"Sure."

The two looked at each other awkwardly before Gilbert turned to leave, and Matthew watched him walked off before Alfred had to physically pry him away from the spot he was standing in.

"Come on. Your mom will kill you if you aren't in your room."

"Alfred, please don't say things like that. She honestly would, which scares me."

Gilbert stopped, hearing the sentence from down the road linger in the air. _Wait, is he serious? _He wondered, not wanting to turn around and stalk them but... No, that's exactly what he wanted to do.

"O-Oh fuck, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like-"

"It's fine... Just take me home.."

Gilbert blinked his crimson eyes in confusion. What was he going to do? What was _Alfred _going to do? There was no way he was just going to leave him to get killed..Right?

"This has to be a joke." Gilbert told himself, shaking his head, but that doubt still lingered. He stood there for a good couple of minutes, when he realized he would lose sight of the brothers.

"I-I guess I could take the long way.." He decided, turning around and being quiet as he followed Matthew and Alfred down the street. Sure, it was creepy but.. He didn't want anyone to get hurt. Especially not this innocent Canadian who wouldn't hurt a fly.

After several blocks and several turns, Matthew came back towards the side of his house, looking up at the still open window. Alfred looked over towards his older brother, smiling sadly, and reached out his arms. "Good luck buddy." He said, pulling Matthew in for a hug, and quite frankly Matthew didn't want to let go.

"D-Don't let me stay here Alfie.. I hate it here so much.."

"I know you do. We'll get you out of here soon, I promise."

Alfred handed his brother the new clothes and crouched on the ground as a pedestal to help him back up into his room. Carefully, Matthew scaled the wall which wasn't too high from the yard, and slipped back inside the window, giving Alfred a thumbs-up as if everything was alright. When, in reality, it wasn't.

Gilbert was squatting behind a large bush, peering through an opening, and noticed Alfred beginning to leave; looking back towards the house now and then. "What exactly is going on..?" He thought aloud, creeping closer to the house, but trying not to be seen.

With a sigh, Matthew hid the new clothes he had gotten in his closet, and as if on cue, footsteps pounded up the stairs. He panicked, slamming his closet door shut and he ran for the bed, collapsing onto it and the headboard banged into the wall harshly. Gilbert flinched, hearing this loud noise, and immediately looked upwards; wondering what was going on.

"Have you learned your lesson?" His mother spat at him, nearing closer, and Matthew just stayed silent. He didn't budge, he didn't blink, and he tried not to breathe as well. He usually would have said yes in this situation, but his body was paralyzed.

"Answer me!"

"Y-y-yes mother!" He screeched, hiding his face and turning away. That obviously was not the best choice. Showing fear is the worst decision in his scenario.

"Scared, are we?" She cooed eerily, nearing his face, "Why are you scared Mattie~?"

"I-I'm not."

"Prove it. Look at me." He was shaking now, "_Look at me!_"

Before he had any chance to try, her hands were grabbing his neck, forcing him into the wooden headboard and the impact caused his head to spin. Gilbert could hear the yelling, the anger, the fear; all of it. He was terrified of what was happening in there, and he was the only one who could hear it. Not knowing what to do, he stood up and looked through the window, trying to see if there was any sign of the Canadian he had only just met.

"Let m-me go!" Matthew wailed, trying to scratch at her clammy hands, and finally she pulled away as his vision began to close in. With no explanation, she turned around and slammed the door once more; the sound of the lock clicking in his small room. Once again he was locked inside.

* * *

**Okay, this chapter is soooooo much better than the last couple. So sorry about that.**

**And, also, THIS IS NOT AMECAN. *clears throat* Sorry, just had to get that off of my chest. This is PruCan and strictly PruCan. I just think Alfie is a great brother, that's all. **

**Thank you for reading~**

**-Feli**


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